How your ‘negative’ emotions can help you

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Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

I’ve been reflecting recently on so-called ‘negative’ emotions such as anger and anxiety. The other day I had had enough of having to try to get my Dad’s glasses fixed when the lens had fallen out for what must be the 5th time and I uncharacteristically telephoned the optician while experiencing my frustration and anger; I would normally have waited until I had calmed down. While polite, there was no doubting how I was feeling and the result was a quick resolution of the issue. In the past, my unconscious strategy in dealing with negative emotions like these was to try to diminish them as quickly as possible. Now, in part as a result of reading ‘The upside of your darkside’ by Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener, I’m trying new strategies so that I can maximise the benefits of such emotions which include better performance, optimism, motivation, problem solving, creativity and ideas and wellbeing. If you’d like some of that too, read on! (more…)

Respecting difference – peace and good will to all!

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Image by Magnascan from Pixabay

As the holiday season fast approaches, I am reminded of the messages in Christmas carols that hold meaning not just for this time of year but all year round whether we have religious beliefs or not, messages of peace, goodwill, glad tidings and joy. Sadly, with the recent general election in the UK as well as other causes of differences of opinion in the world, it seems that we can too readily become entrenched in our own views and see anyone with views different to this as ‘other’ and therefore a threat.. .at least that’s how it appears following various social media threads. At this point, thoughts of peace and good will seem to go out of the window!

So how can we help ourselves to be more accepting of others and their views, treating them respectfully? (more…)

Being confidently you with personal power

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Image by Andrew Martin from Pixabay

Do you ever find yourself holding back from saying what you think to people in authority? Have you ever decided against having a conversation because you don’t think your needs are important relative to the other person? Perhaps you’ve known you need to give feedback to a team member but have avoided it? If you’ve answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, it could be because you aren’t tapping into your personal power which is key to effective communication. Read on to understand more about what personal power is as well as 5 key aspects so that you can better use it day to day.  (more…)

Stepping into action as a perfectionist

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In last month’s blog I shared some tips on how to adapt perfectionist tendencies so that they work for you rather than against you. I focused on thinking errors and what you can do to correct these and find perspective. In this month’s blog I focus on how you can practice overcoming behaviours common to perfectionists. If you think this could help you, or someone you know, read on. (more…)

Perfectionism – making it work for you rather than against you

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“Helen will never make anything of herself in this world unless she gives up her perfectionist tendencies” – so said my ‘understanding’ primary school teacher in my final year of primary school. Was she right? I don’t think so. That being said, I did need to learn to dampen down my degree of perfectionism and to get some perspective. It took me a while to do this and in the meantime I had a hard time of it. I’ve learned a few things since then about how to make perfectionism work for you rather than against you and I’m sharing some tips below. (more…)

Daring greatly – understanding the need and where to start

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Image by Jonny Lindner from Pixabay

It’s likely that many of you have heard of Brené Brown, author, research professor and owner of one of the most viewed TED talks to date.  She’s the author of the book ‘Daring Greatly’ about the transformational effects of finding the courage to be vulnerable. For me, it is important to be able to  ‘dare greatly’ in a way that is true to who we are. If you ever find yourself having a gut sense that you need to do something that scares the living daylights out of you, you probably need to dare greatly – read on as I aim to explore what can help us to do just that. (more…)

Learning from a trip to A&E – how business managers can connect with their team members

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Image by eroyka from Pixabay

This month the idea for my blog is rooted in an emotional experience I had late Sunday night into the early hours of Monday morning. My Dad had a fall which resulted in a head injury. He’s fine, I’m glad to say. It gave me the opportunity to experience some wonderful NHS care while with him and, as I reflected on the whole experience, I realise that there are some useful learning points that transfer to the business world. If you are a busy manager who might benefit from greater connection with your team members read on.  (more…)

Working long hours – making choices with consequences that suit you

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Image VSRao from Pixabay

Last week the BBC published a health news article based on some French research which found that people working long hours had a 29% greater risk of stroke, and those doing so for 10 years or more had a 45% greater risk. Long hours were defined as more than 10 hours on at least 50 days per year. I suspect we all know that long hours working isn’t good for us but somehow reading these percentage figures with a specific health risk attached that can result in death in the worst case or impaired speech, paralysis and possibly vascular dementia in lesser cases really brings this home.

If you are reading this thinking ‘I work long hours .. but do I have a choice?’ then I’d like to suggest you do have a choice. Choices have consequences – read on to find out more about the choices and consequences open to you. You may decide it is time for some change.  (more…)

Why we all need to care about dementia

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Having just come to the end of dementia action week, it seems an appropriate time to address some key thoughts around dementia in this month’s blog.

Let’s start with some facts

In 2015, an estimated 850,000 people were living with dementia in the UK. By 2021, it is estimated that there will be over 1 million people and 25 years from now something like 1.7 million. Approximately 1 out of 6 people over 80 get dementia .. that means it is likely that if it is not you or me it will be someone that we love who is close to us.  (more…)

How time travel can boost your future motivation

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 Gerd Altmann Pixabay

I’ve just finished enjoying a book by Liane Moriarty entitled ‘What Alice Forgot‘. Without giving the whole plot away, it tells the tale of a woman who wakes up after a bump on the head worrying about her pregnancy only to find out that she is not 29 and pregnant as she believes but actually 39 with 3 children but is missing the last 10 years of her life. She finds that she isn’t sure that she likes everything that she must have become based on how other people treat her. I found myself wondering what me 10 years ago would think of the me of today.

While I am not suggesting you deliberately try to get a bump on the head to do this, it can be interesting, and useful, to step back in time 10 years in your mind and consider who you were then, as well as to think of who you might be 10 years from now. I’ll share my own reflections before providing some tips on how to complete your own.
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