You may have heard the saying that people come into your life for a reason.

The general idea is that there are times in our lives where we interact with someone either professionally or personally and that interaction has a profound effect on us – either because it help us in some way or the person role models something that we learn from or because it hurts us in some way or the person role models something that we decide we never want to do to someone else.

I’ve had my own experience of both of these types of situation.

The positive experience. When I was working for one organisation in their HR team,  the HR Director position became vacant. The organisation began by looking for an external hire. I’d only been in role and at the company for 6 months and didn’t have the self-belief that I was ready for the role or could do it. Fortunately for me, the Sales Director at the time thought otherwise. I popped by to see him at the end of a long day to check in on him when he was going through some tough changes with his organisation. As I turned to go, almost under his breath he said “so when the heck are you going to apply for that HR Director role?” (or something similar!). It only took one sentence to make me start to believe that it was possible and from there a 10 year hugely enjoyable part of my career took off.

The negative experience. This was when I worked for a manager who seemed to see me as an inconvenience rather than someone he had a responsibility towards. In some ways it was fortunate he only had a team of two and I noticed that he treated the other person in the same way (so it wasn’t just about me!) When I started at the organisation he was on holiday. He had left me with a project to get on with without any on-boarding plan, no connections in the business, and limited understanding of the requirements of the project…and it continued much in the same vein from there. It really was a case of in at the deep end. I recognise that he was not deliberately making my life difficult – he just didn’t have a natural affinity or skill set for line management. I am still grateful for the experience though because I learned a lot about the type of line manager I wanted to be and how I wanted to influence how people felt in a positive way.

My provocation to you is whatever you think about the truth of the saying ‘people come into your life for a reason’, how would it be as a guide for you in being an inspirational line manager and/or leader?

Here’s how that could be possible:

Getting onto people’s lists

I once remember someone I used to work with who was a UK Marketing Director saying that one thing that guided him in his day to day work was wanting to make it on to people’s list. I asked him ‘what list?’ and he said ‘well, if I asked you who has made the most difference to you in your success, development and happiness in your career and life’ who comes to mind?’ Then I got it. What if you were able to really make a difference to someone that works for you or with you such that at the end of their career when asked who was on their list, your name was mentioned?

You can bet that the Sales Director is on my list and there are several others who would make that list too. So what can you do to more consciously have such a positive impact in the lives and careers of those you work with?

5 Tips to get on people’s lists:

1. Know what you stand for. It starts with being clear about the type of leader you are and the values that steer how you behave. For me, one of the words that I’ve been fortunate to have others say about me is that I care. And I do. I genuinely care about other’s success and happiness.
2. Demonstrate what you stand for in your everyday interactions. It’s not enough to believe you stand for fairness and equality if the first time someone comes to you believing they have been overlooked or mistreated you don’t take the time to listen and find out what’s troubling them. For me, as a leader, the actions that showed others that I cared included making time to listen to them and to help them find ways forward when they could not see one.
3. Know your mission. Make it your mission to ensure that every person that works for you has the conditions and support they need to excel in their role – this could include facilitating a strong on-boarding, clear expectation management, giving objective and timely feedback, making connections with others and being an advocate for them.
4. Set your success measure. Given 1, 2 and 3, see the success of those that work for you as a measure of how successful you are in your own role. This helps you to be more aware of the role you need to play in ensuring their success day to day.
5. Be interested in your team members as people – not just because they complete work that you need doing. Rise above the transactional interactions, take time to get to know their hopes, fears, dreams and ambitions, and have conversations that show them that they matter.

If you were to write your list today, who would be on it? Why? Why not let that person know the difference they have made to you?

And .. if you really want to have a chance to be on others’ lists, what might you start doing more of, or less of, from tomorrow to make that possibility a reality?