Can you think of a time when you had a real gut instinct that things weren’t right in a way that made you uncomfortable? Perhaps when someone else was being excluded either unintentionally, or worse still intentionally, or when a course of action felt unfair to another? What did you do? Face any anxiety you may have been feeling and decide to act in some way to change things? Think about it for a while and then decide it wasn’t a battle you were ready to step into?
It’s a tough ask of ourselves when we want to act on something but don’t know if we have the capability to do it in an effective way, or perhaps fear repercussions.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately in light of world events. I’ve been reflecting back over my working life and wondering if I’ve done enough standing up for others. Have I even been aware of the need at times? As I’ve thought about this, I’ve looked for some words from others to help me and found this quote from Suzy Kassem (Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem)
“Stand up to hypocrisy. If you don’t, the hypocrites will teach. Stand up to ignorance, because if you don’t, the ignorant will run free to spread ignorance like a disease. Stand up for truth. If you don’t, then there is no truth to your existence. If you don’t stand up for all that is right, then understand that you are part of the reason why there is so much wrong in the world”
Using this as a mirror can be hard hitting – intellectually you can think ‘of course’ and yet people can be reticent to speak out, for fear of misspeaking or want to do something, but not be sure what to do.
Finding courage in working life
In my working life, I’ve found the belief that ‘my silence is complicity’ helpful to me in providing fuel to take action despite any fears I may have. If I can’t stand up to someone who is belittling someone else then I must consider myself an accomplice to their actions. If I don’t take action then this can be interpreted as me being okay with what’s going on. My silence speaks more loudly than any words I could say .. If I say nothing, assumptions others make about that create a perception anyway.
I’ve not always been able to speak up though, not even for myself. Over the years I’ve become much more able to stand up for myself; I know myself much better now than I did in my 20s, in part as a result of coaching and self-reflection, and I use my values to help me to gain the fuel I need to take action. What is sometimes harder is to stand up for others. While we can often stand up for our family and our loved ones, what about our work colleagues?
It’s all about finding the courage to act. This can be particularly hard when you feel you are the only one seeing something a certain way. I find it helpful to try to consider a few key things:
- If this were happening to me, would I want someone to stand up for me and step in?
- Do I have a safety net through my relationships? – A support network, someone I can confide in who would support me in what I am about to do? (See Simon Sinek talking about courage)
- Am I following my heart and acting with positive intent? Does this feel ‘right’ to me? If I dare to do this, does it reinforce who I am? As Soren Kierkegaard is quoted to have said: “To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.” Am I prepared to lose my footing momentarily knowing that I’m being true to myself.
Whether you are in your first role of your career, a new team manager, or a senior leader, finding the courage to do what is right, for you, and for others, can enable a better workplace, and ultimately a better world, one action at a time.
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