I was due to attend a local networking event this morning but it quickly became clear that was not going to happen because the rain has been so continuous that my village is cut off due to flooding.
What it has meant however is the opportunity to work further on my new programme that will enable aspiring leaders to develop grounded confidence – to shape their thinking to support this, to develop their skills and behaviours to enable this, so that they can own their work, career and life choices and move towards them.
This will be for people who are great at their jobs but held back by self doubt, helping them show up with the confidence everyone else already thinks they have.
It’s not about feeling confident all the time – that’s not only unlikely, but has downsides – if we are over confident, we are less likely to prepare if we need to, or check something to ensure it is correct, or consider consequences if things were to go wrong and mitigate for potential problems.
But it is about having a belief in ourselves and our abilities that prevails – we may feel some self-doubt at times, particularly in new situations, but we have the resources to move forwards.
Ironically, given my programme aims, as I sat down to carry on with creating the materials, I found myself procrastinating for a moment. And I noticed some of my thoughts were trying to cut me off from doing the work (a bit like how the flood has cut me off from the outside world!).
Thoughts such as:
- it is going to take you ages to get this to a point where it can be delivered
- how are you going to get people to sign up?
- you’ve wanted to do this for a while – what makes you think you are going to finish it this time?
Fortunately, I’m familiar with this little doubting voice and I can see it for what it is – my protector, trying to keep me safe. So I can reason with it and listen to any useful information (yes, I do need to think about how I am going to get people to sign up) but also put it straight based on my experience:
- Yes it will take a while to get it ready to deliver but I have a plan, I’ve done something similar before, and I am committed to doing this
- Yes I have wanted to do this for a while – but circumstances were different before – now the time if right for a number of reasons.
Overcoming self-doubt:
To overcome your self-doubting thoughts, try the following 4 steps:
- Where are your thoughts coming from? What’s their purpose?
- Be-friend the part of you that is bringing these thoughts to your attention. Trust that they are there for a reason, even if that is misplaced.
- Take each thought in turn and consider if it is true in any way or helpful. If not, how would you dispute it?
- With the understanding of what has led to your self-doubt, what small safe step or choice can you make that moves you away from doubt?
Disputing limiting thoughts it just one element that supports overcoming self-doubt. As I build out my programme, I’ll share other elements that help to build more grounded confidence, enable you to act differently and to do the following (all originate from real life situations from my coaching clients):
- stop second‑guessing yourself
- stop being overlooked as you step into your authority
- stop overthinking and move into decisive action
- stop apologising or playing small and instead be authentically assertive
- stop being held back by self-doubt and show up as the leader you already are
How does self-doubt show up for you? Do any of the above sound familiar.
When you next notice your thinking showing up as doubt, have a go at the 4 steps and see if it can help you move forwards positively.
While I need to wait for the floods to subside, overcoming self-doubt needs a more proactive stance .. perhaps the equivalent of putting on wellies or buying a kayak for me!
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