Getting through the tough, slow days

When you are finding yourself struggling to focus, less motivated, low in mood and just not at your best, how do you manage to get through your day? Is it a case of battling through or perhaps something to be tolerated as the day passes? What if you could find a better way?

As I write this month’s blog in the passenger seat of our car as we head to Cornwall for a few days of fresh sea air and recharge, I’m noticing the changing colour of the trees, the brown, yellow, and orange leaves among the green that herald the start of autumn. It makes me reflect on the reassuring certainty of the seasons. They may drift in terms of starting as this Autumn seems to have with warm days last week but a clear change in temperature this week but we can be sure that within a week or two the seasons do change every year.

The last few months have seen lots of uncertainty for all of us, particularly related to Covid-19 and worries about being made redundant, or not having business when you are self-employed or risks to your health if you are vulnerable.

For me, the most significant uncertainty has been when I might get to see my Mum who is in a care home where there were no visits allowed for almost 5 months. Fortunately, outdoor visits are currently allowed although only 30 minutes every 2 weeks so my sister and I take it in turns to visit; a month is a long time to wait. I share this because it has been an ongoing low level anxiety for me, constantly there and more prevalent when I wake at 3am in the morning or perhaps surprisingly, just after I’ve visited Mum. As such, I’ve found myself having good days from a work perspective and some that have been much harder.

While I love what I do, it can be tough to deliver the quality work that I pride myself on when my thoughts catch me out wondering what Mum might be doing and how she is. I’ve been aware of my changing feelings and moods and have deliberately checked-in through ‘thinking pairs’ with a couple of trusted peers which help me consider how to keep myself buoyant in choppy waters. In effect, I’ve been experimenting to see what works for me.

I can’t presume to know what your circumstances are as you read this, and some of what I write below may not feel relevant for you but I hope that something may be worth a try in helping you on those tough, slow days.

Tips for getting through the tough, slow days:

• Shift perspective. As with the changing of the seasons, I remind myself that this too shall pass. I’ve been low or tired or frustrated or anxious before and I’ve come out the other side. I can’t necessarily control when, but I can make the passing of time until I get there more bearable.
  
• Accept it. Rather than struggle and push and berate myself, I’ve found a bit of acceptance goes a long way. I recognise that this is a day where I may not get quite as much done or be in top form but I will still do my very best and I will make progress.
  
• Create lighter moments. If you are able to, either structure your day with 10-15 minute pauses, or take the breaks you do get and use them wisely. If I can get outside for 10 minutes, take in the full light of the sky, feel the wind or rain on my face, and preferably walk while doing so, I feel lighter on my return and my sense of perspective can improve.
  
• Observe. Check in to how you are as the day passes. If you try something different whether changing perspective (‘this too shall pass’), changing how you think about the day (accept it), create lighter moments, or something else, see it as an experiment and determine what you might do more or less of if this happens again.

I suspect we pretty much all have days like these from time to time. Next time you have one, what might you try that makes the day more bearable? Do you already have a tip that works for you? Please share – I’d love to try for my own experiment.